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Friday, October 11, 2013

Thoughts on the Physical Aspects of a Stillbirth

Well, it's been a week. It seems like soooo much longer! This post is going to be somewhat special interest, but that's the way it goes. :)

While I've been laying around and recovering, I've been trying to research a few things and really couldn't find what I wanted. Most stuff I found had to do with the emotional ordeal of having a stillborn. I totally get that, but I don't really want to put that out for everybody to see yet. I may not ever, I don't know. But, since I was looking for more physical stuff, I thought I'd put some of that down in case someone else is also looking for that info.

I had never realized how much a nursing baby plays a role in my physical recovery.

I don't know if it was having a dead baby, and so therefore presumably a dead placenta, or not, but with this birth, my placenta took a long time to come out. Normally it takes about 15 minutes, this time is was closer to an hour. I normally am able to nurse the baby right off, though, and, obviously, I couldn't do that this time. I also bled a bit more and a bit longer right after the birth that I was comfortable with. It wasn't really hemorraging and it was easily taken care of, but it was more than the other births.

Another thing I've noticed is that I seem to bleed more with activity. Again, maybe a baby helps here, both because it is nursing (therefore contracting the uterus) and because one tends to spend a lot of time sitting still while nursing, holding and cuddling the little one. Once I got to where I could walk comfortably, I really wanted to be doing something. It's very hard to just sit there and do nothing. All I would do was think about the baby and get depressed. I needed to be up and doing something distracting, but I couldn't. Still can't really. I can do some, but I still have to be very careful not to overdo things.

 After losing the baby, I was really dreading my milk coming in. If I was a cow, I'd be a Holstein. I usually have problems with engorgement and infection while nursing, so I was really scared about how all this was going to go without a baby nursing. Since I really prefer herbal medicines when possible, that's what I went with here. I decided to go with sage tincture and cabbage leave poultices. I started that day, hoping to get a bit of a jump on things. I took the sage, 1 dropperful, 4 times a day and put cabbage leaves on every 3-4 hours, depending on how fast they dried up. Cabbage leaves are nicely shaped for this purpose and fit in the bra quite well, but I really don't like walking around smelling like coleslaw. I don't even like coleslaw. I did the last of the cabbage yesterday. I had run out and since things were feeling ok, I thought I'd try going without and see what happened. I'm still doing the sage, though. So far, so good.

I have to say, things went much better than anticipated. Milk did come in and things did get kind of swollen and most definitely painful, but no infections. It's been a week and I can now, almost comfortably, hold the 2 year old again. I also haven't felt a let down in two days. That is a rather weird and painful sensation with no baby nursing. So, I'm hoping I'm on the downhill slide as far as that goes. I even got brave enough to take a nice, hot shower today. After reading about how that can encourage breastmilk production, I was scared to take one. I've been making do with baths, kind of sponge bathing the upper part of me.

This was also the most painful delivery I have ever had. I have a fairly good pain tolerance and have had all natural births, but this one stepped over the threshold. I have never felt pain like that!! And I don't ever want to again. I don't know how much was because he was stillborn or how much because my labors are getting shorter and shorter. This one was only 45 minutes. It's intense. He was also a face presentation which may have contributed.

This was some stuff I was looking for and couldn't find. Anybody else want to contribute thoughts or experiences?

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